My wife often tells me, “You’re the most confident person I know!” She means it in a good way (most of the time). Right, honey? Here’s the thing, I wasn’t always confident. As a natural introvert, confidence didn’t come easy for me. I had to work at it.
We all have different areas where we feel most confident in. For example, I love reading, writing and filmmaking, so I feel confident when I talk about those subjects. But that’s no the confidence I’m talking about. I’m talking about the confidence that gets you the dream job, that gets you the love of that girl that you met online (hi honey).
How do you gain that confidence?
In my experience as an introvert masquerading as an extrovert in my daily life, the old adage “fake it until you make it” is true. What I mean by that is, when you act confident (even if you arent’) you begin to believe it. Others around you begin to see you as a confident person. And as time goes on, you actually become a confident person.
When I interviewed for my first real job, I wasn’t ready. The guy who interviewed before me had a light blue dress shirt, navy pants, dress shoes and was freshly groomed. As for me, I was wearing blue jeans, a Hawaiian shirt and had long curly hair that almost reached my shoulders. Oh, also, I had no experience whatsoever. And yet, I still got the job.
I’m not saying to go to job interviews looking like a hippy. After that learning experience, I always go to job interviews wearing a suit. But my point is that confidence gets you a long way and when you wear the right clothes, it gets you even further.
So, a big part of feeling confident is wearing the right clothes. You have to care about your appearance, not to the point of narcissism, but you must have a healthy interest in what you wear. Look at magazines, keep up with the trends, look at different haircuts.
In essence, to be confident, you have to act confident. Believe that you can get any job and 9 times out of 10, you will.
One final thing, don’t be arrogant. There’s a thin line between being confident and being a jerk, so tread lightly. Once you begin to gain confidence in yourself, you must also learn how to stay humble. Arrogance is a sign of insecurity. Truly confident people are not insecure.